Be kind to yourself, Mama. We have so many things pulling at us from all directions these days. Work, family, chores, expectations we don’t want or didn’t think would apply to us. We are told that we have to be beautiful, brilliant, bake like Martha Stewart and work like Joanna Gaines or we are not truly women. Well, guess what? You are doing just fine. Take it from a Mom who has figured out only one single thing in all these years. You are the perfect parent for the child you were given. Need parenting advice, probably should read other blogs, need to know how to replace sheet rock? Not me either. What I do know is how to make sure my children know they are loved. And I’m good with not knowing anything else in this life for sure. My kids know I love them. Done.
The years when we are raising our babies are rough. I don’t know about you, but I am tired – my 3 year old still doesn’t sleep through the night – that means I have slept through the night in almost FOUR years. You know, that does a little something to a girl. I’m an older mom anyway, so let me tell you, it hurts. But what soothes the pain are the barely awake sighs, the barely audible “I love you, Mommy” that I get as my sweet boy snuggles down and drifts back off. I would gladly never sleep through the night again to keep getting those sweet moments.
These years are frustrating. We have them for such a short amount of time, cherish it. Slow down and don’t worry about how perfect the house is. In the end, they are not going to remember having shiny counters, they are going to remember snuggles. They remember songs sung while you are making cocoa. They remember snow cream on snow days, smiles, hugs, stories. They don’t remember how efficiently you folded their laundry or your sweeping technique. They remember how you made them feel about themselves – and that is what they will take with them into the world when they leave your nest.
We have a responsibility to teach them to be adults, teach them responsibility, how to live without us. I don’t want them to live without me, that terrifies me that my sole purpose in life is to teach the two most precious souls I have ever known to be able to live without me. So for now, I will hold them as long as they want to be held – after all, I have never met a 15 year old boy that was still sleeping with his Mommy – in short, these things work themselves out. I will tell them how much they are loved, I will hold their hands, kiss their heads and cherish every single second I have with them, because I know there will be a time when that comes to an end. It is my job to pour as much love and self confidence in them now to last them as they spread their wings in this world.
With all of that stress and responsibility, be gentle on yourself. If everything isn’t perfect, that’s ok. If the house is a mess, it’s ok. If you are two seconds from going out for ice cream and walking away, we all get there. We lick our wounds, and we start again. It’s what we do, and it’s what makes us the Mommies.
I have reached a point in my life that I need to be kinder to myself. If I spoke to my sister using my inner dialogue, she would put me in my place really quickly. Why do I talk to myself like that? Why do I insist on being the most harsh judge of myself on the planet? I have made a commitment to myself to do better this year. I will do the following things each week:
- Use kinder tones with myself, my family and others.
- Do one thing each week that restores my soul.
- Focus on manifesting blessings by being mindful of my thoughts and getting rid of negative ones.
So, each week, I want to be more mindful. I am a firm believer in thoughts becoming actions and actions becoming things. If your inner monologue is always negative, you breed negativity in your life. To attract positivity, prosperity, and peace, you have to be very intentional about that. We will see how far that gets me and what blessings manifest in my life.
This week, I am grateful for:
- Teeny, Tiny and Papa Bear
- A job that allows me huge amounts of time to be with my tinies.
- A creative outlet.
It’s ok to let yourself off the hook for a bit. We all need to breathe once in a while, and then, as Dory says, we “…just keep swimming.” It’s ok not to know where things are headed, be uncertain, or wonder if you are where you are supposed to be. It is normal to ask ourselves those questions. But be kind to yourself as you explore the answers. One of the most important things we can show our children is how to love ourselves. I’m not good at it – I’m my own harshest critic. I want to be good at it. I want to show Tiny how to speak gently, live gently and love fiercely. So Mamas, be kind to yourselves, at the end of the day that is all we have to rely on to allow us to be everything we need to be for each tomorrow.