Life, Working Mom

Today I Sat In The Sun

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Today I sat in the sun.  I sat there and felt the warmth of the rays warm my cheeks, reach through me and to my core.  My mind had been turbulent all day, rolling with this possibility and that, churning with the thoughts, moods and reactions to the behaviors of others.  But today I sat in the sun.

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Today I sat in the sun.  I let the negativity flow from my mind, through my body and into the ground.  I felt the grass reaching up to hold my hands, whispering to me, sending me its energy.  I felt the grass, cool and soft to the touch, felt it with my soul.  I sat, cleared my head and focused on positivity.  I focused on the smell of the grass, freshly cut and smelling of life, of Spring.  I closed my eyes and opened my heart to the universe, letting negative thoughts of days gone by float away.  For a few minutes, a precious few minutes, I sat in the sun.

Today I sat in the sun and imagined what I looked like to the clouds as they drifted by.  I imagined them looking at us, comparing us to familiar shapes, finding their own likeness in us.  I watched the wisps and tendrils stretch across the sky, flow out from their source, creating new images as they connect – much like us.  We reach out from our core, connect with others and come away changed.  Sometimes for the better, sometimes not, but always new – always changed.  Today I sat and wondered how others change as a result of my touch on their lives.  Today I wondered as I sat in the sun.

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Today I sat in the sun and looked at my life.  I pondered old decisions, considered future options, and wondered about my life choices.  I wondered if I would have the life I have, the one I love, had any of those decisions been altered.  The grass thinks not, and I agreed.  I planted flowers and made new friends today as I basked in the sun.

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Today I sat in the sun.  I let the light flow into my heart, felt the warmth of the love of the universe wrap around me.  I let the energy of the sun recharge my spirit and offered a prayer of gratitude for all of the things – positive and negative – that worked together to give me the life I treasure.  To give me children who were perfectly hand selected for me.  A mate that sees me at my best and worst, and chooses to be at my side when I am depleted.  I gave a prayer of gratitude for a few solitary moments to breath before chores and dinner, sticky hands and giggles.  I gave a prayer of thanksgiving for the grass, my new confidant.  The cooling, silent influence of the Earth as it grounded my mind.  I gave a prayer of gratitude for the cool and unchanging weight of heavy soil in my fingers, connecting me to the Earth.  I gave a prayer of gratitude for the newness of Spring, the newness of transition, the opportunity for growth and new life that comes with it.  I gave a prayer of gratitude to God for the peace that will soon come as a result of my faith.  For rest, for time.  Time to do those things that I have not done in years.  Time to spend with my little ones, time to repair my own brokenness, time to breathe and settle my mind.  Time to gaze into the face of the vast possibilities and possibilities smiling back at me from the horizon.  Today I felt gratitude as I sat in the sun.

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